


Speculations

by My_Beating_Hart



Series: A Mahariel's Travels [11]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-26 21:05:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2666372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Beating_Hart/pseuds/My_Beating_Hart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if things had been different?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Speculations

“So, what do you think you would have done, if things had turned out differently?”

Zevran looked up from his boots, and gave Theron a curious look.

“What do you mean?” He asked, glancing back at the rest of the group. The two elves had gradually wandered further ahead of the procession, but they were making good time with the clear weather. They would be able to see Lake Calenhad any day now.

“If you decided to not join us when we first met, and instead went off on your own.” The ranger explained, eyes on the road ahead. “Would you have gone back to Antiva?”

“Considering as soon as I stepped over the border there would have been several Crows waiting to either kill me or drag me back, I do not think so, as much as I miss that fair country.” Zevran replied, grinning in dry amusement.

“You would have stayed in Ferelden, then?”

“Perhaps. I never truly considered it. I thought you would kill me for attempting to kill you, so I did not make alternative plans.” The Antivan sighed, rolling his shoulders. “But it is an interesting notion. If I had decided I would be safer _not_ travelling with the two surviving Grey Wardens on a quest to stop the Blight, I may well have ended up in Denerim. Perhaps the Alienage, waiting for the Crows to assume I had met some inelegant death elsewhere. Or maybe the Pearl - it seems like a job there would be ridiculously profitable.” Zevran mused, glancing over at Theron. The other elf didn’t seem too shocked at the mention of prostitution from a whoreson. “The human nobles all seem to have similar tastes when they are in a seedy part of the city that only cares for their gold rather than their titles.” He continued, until the ranger frowned at him.

“Do you want me to imagine you whoring yourself out to some arrogant _shemlen_?” Theron asked, looking more annoyed or pained rather than disgusted.

“Well, if we ever find ourselves in need of coin during our travels…”

“Enough.” Theron said flatly, looking back at the road and quickening his stride slightly, and trying desperately to get certain images out of his head. Should he should have asked in the first place?

They settled into silence, and it wasn’t until the sun was low in the sky and the clouds were streaked orange and pink that the subject was brought up again, the camp freshly pitched for the night.

“So, dear Warden, what about you?” Zevran asked, falling into step beside Theron as they went off to collect water. The Dalish elf raised an eyebrow, silently prompting the Antivan to explain.

“I was thinking on the road after our discussion. What would you have done if you hadn’t joined the Grey Wardens, or even persuaded Tamlen to not investigate the ruin or mirror?” The bond explained, adjusting his hold on one of the waterskins he carried.

“Oh.” Theron said, glancing down at his feet as he tried to think. “I would have stayed with the Sabrae clan, of course. Most likely for the rest of my life.” He bit his lip. “I would probably have been a scout and hunter with Tamlen.” The Dalish elf hesitated for a second. “And I’d never tell him how I felt.” He added.

Zevran quirked an eyebrow.

“Never? You would harbour your feelings for so long?”

Theron shook his head distractedly.

“No, I did tell him once. When we were younger and I was stupid. It was just after we’d both gotten our _vallaslin_ , when we were considered men and not children. I thought that if I told him, he might at least tell me that he didn’t feel the same way.” Theron paused, lifting his head up and nodding to the stream. “Of course, Tamlen took it as an odd joke. He laughed, and that hurt the most.” The stones and mud shifted under the ranger’s boots as he stepped towards the flowing water. “Suggested I propose to him if I was serious.” He sighed resignedly as he knelt down to start filling one of the waterskins, and Zevran knelt down to do the same, giving him a sympathetic look.

“I held my tongue after that, whenever romance of any sort was mentioned.” The black haired elf finished, listening to the water rushing by, cold enough to sting his fingertips.

“Perhaps that was for the best.” Zevran replied, trying to be of some comfort as he lifted the full, dripping waterskin out of the stream and pushed the stopper in.

“Perhaps.” Theron shrugged, looking down at his hands, and then he shook his head, as if he was trying to physically shake the thoughts out. “I might have even married a woman, and have children.” He suggested, stopping up his first waterskin and reaching for the next.

“Would you have…?” The Antivan began, finding it rather difficult to imagine Theron happily settled down with a wife, let alone children.

“No.” The ranger interrupted, some of his braids falling over his shoulders as he shook his head. He looked up, round at the abandoned farmland that had obviously been destroyed a long while ago. Darkspawn blood tended to kill off plant growth, render the earth barren, and there were patches of dirt in amongst the thick grass of the fields that in normal circumstances should have been full of golden wheat. The Blight had spread further.

“So you would have settled into an unfulfilling relationship more out of a sense of duty to your clan than actual desire while you watched Tamlen grow old and content from afar, yes?” Zevran asked.

Theron winced.

“Your tongue could easily be used as a blade, Zevran.” He commented, shifting uncomfortably as he finished filling up the next skin. “But yes, most likely. And then when my hair turned grey and I began to miss even bear on my hunts I would be considered a _haharen_ , an elder, entertaining the children of the clan with tales of my exploits.” Theron sighed, glancing at Zevran. “I would never have set foot outside the Brecilian Forest. Never been forced to leave, or travel the length and breadth of Ferelden several times over. My adventures would be limited to perhaps downing a great bear or a giant spider singlehandedly, not destroying an archdemon and stopping the Blight.” The Dalish elf got to his feet, the last skin filled, and brushed mud from his knees.

“We would never have met.” Zevran noted, and the ranger nodded. Two strangers living very different lives miles apart, unaware of the other’s existence. Their gazes met, honey gold on smoke grey.

“I wouldn’t have met any of the group.” Theron reasoned, adjusting his hold on the water-heavy skins as Zevran stoppered the last one and got to his feet.

They began to walk back, each consumed by their own thoughts.

“So, you wouldn’t have stayed with your clan?” Zevran asked conversationally.

Theron frowned in thought.

“Sometimes, after I wake from the nightmares, I wonder if everything I have experienced so far is simply a long dream. If this is all something my mind has created because it is so unlike life with the clan. Something so dramatic, it cannot possibly be true.” The ranger admitted, keeping his gaze on the ground and growing quiet once more. They were almost back to the camp, Zevran was able to hear Leliana’s ringing laughter, Dudain’s excited barking and see the tents clustered around the campfire when the Dalish elf spoke again, whispering to himself.

“I don’t want to wake up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is a long note.  
> Completely forgot to upload this last night, whoops.  
> Inquisition absolutely hates my poor old laptop, which really sucks.  
> So, my excuse is that I was writing a piece that was longer than expected, ordering my ideas into some form of chronological order, making myself sad over Origins' and this series' ending (I have several plans...), and then crushing disappointment over Inquisition, and blah blah blah I lost track of time and suddenly it was nearly midnight and I had to be up in nine hours.  
> Better late than never, though?  
> I have two other pieces to put up after this - one will be split roughly in half, I think, and then I'm going to take a break because of a deadline, so I can focus on that and also write more pieces again. It's a good habit to get into, I think I'll take a week off every month from now. So, after the 27th I'll not put anything up til after the 2nd of December.


End file.
